![]() I know what I smelled, it wasn’t no brim and it didn’t come off no stone neither… Shrek: That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.ĭonkey: Yeah, right, brimstone. Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead! ![]() Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in “short” supply.ĭonkey: Yeah! Though there are those who think “little” of him!ĭonkey: Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything! Princess Fiona: And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what’s he like? Princess Fiona: The sooner we get to Duloc, the better!ĭonkey: Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it’s beautiful! Magic Mirror: Lord Farquaad, you have chosen… Princess Fiona. Yours for the rescuing: Princess Fiona! So, who will it be? Bachelorette #1? Bechelorette #2? Or Bachelorette #3? She’s a loaded pistol who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Magic Mirror: And last but not least is a fiery redhead who lives in a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by a boiling lake of lava! But don’t let that cool you off. Just kiss her frozen, dead lips and find out what a live wire she is. Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy. Magic Mirror: Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the Land of Fantasy. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. She likes sushi and hot-tubbing any time. Magic Mirror: Our first bachelorette is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. Magic Mirror: So, just sit back and relax, my Lord, because I’m about to give you today’s three eligible bachelorettes. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn’t COLOR-BLIND! The Donkey: She’s as nasty as you are.ĭonkey: Blue flower, red thorns. The Donkey: But that’s no way to behave in front of a princess. Shrek: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.ĭonkey: Parfait’s gotta be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!Ĭlockwork Chorus: Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town / Here we have some rules, let us lay them down: / Don’t make waves, stay in line / And we’ll get along fine / Duloc is a perfect placeĬlockwork Chorus: Please keep off of the grass / Shine your shoes, wipe your… FACE! / Duloc is, Duloc is / Duloc is a perfect… place! Shrek: I don’t care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.ĭonkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “Hell no, I don’t like no parfait”? Parfaits are delicious! You get it? We both have layers.ĭonkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Shrek: Example… uh… ogres are like onions!ĭonkey: Oh, you leave ’em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs… Shrek: For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think. “I got the bottle, and I’m like, ‘Hey, Rory, is this funny? Let me try this joke.One of the greatest animated films of all time, Shrek had terrific animation and humor. “It’s a lot of work,” he said of playing catch-up on a show that itself is still being tweaked. And Breaker, well, he just joined the cast two weeks ago - four weeks after his wife gave birth to their first child, Rory. (During the musical’s tune-up run in Seattle, he went with Condoleezza, Sprinkles, and Tinsel). Farting is best when it’s one on one.” Sieber, who performs the entire show on his knees to simulate evil Farquaad’s tiny stature, sounded equally excited about his showstopper “What’s Up, Duloc?” and the fact that every night he’ll get to change the name of the large My Pretty Pony he rides onstage. D’Arcy James, who spends 90 minutes in the makeup chair to get his ogre on, quasi-quoted George Michael when describing one his favorite scenes from the show: “Farting is natural, farting is fun. Tartaglia said he’s given his Pinocchio a little Southern twang and a mild case of manic depression. And they do, in fact, each appear to be somewhat “twisted.” Foster did a cheerleader’s leg kick when she found out she was chatting with EW. They are definitely talented: They include one Tony winner, Thoroughly Modern Millie‘s Sutton Foster as Princess Fiona, and four Tony nominees: Sweet Smell of Success‘ Brian d’Arcy James as Shrek Monty Python’s Spamalot‘s Christopher Sieber as Lord Farquaad Passing Strange‘s Daniel Breaker as Donkey and Avenue Q‘s Tartaglia. Earlier this week, we had the chance to sit down with the stars and discovered that the description is accurate. According to John Tartaglia, who plays Pinocchio in Broadway’s Shrek the Musical, that’s how director Jason Moore ( Avenue Q) explained the casting of the movie (and book) adaptation, which begins previews Nov.
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